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{Re}defining Franny

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How I went Kicking and Screaming into my Passion

The fantasy life my tween-self imagined with AJ McLean from Backstreet Boys looked a lot like my life did in March 2018 when I was working at a Fortune 50 company, living in an adorable neighborhood with tree lined streets in a house with a yard and a two-car garage. My life currently in March 2019, owning my own coaching + consulting firm and living in a condo with an ocean view, was not even a consideration. In fact, I once used entrepreneurship as an ultimatum in a relationship because I didn’t want to be poor…  I was more than happy to let “the man” pay for my life.

My life today is the the life I was meant to lead-coaching, writing, CEO-ing-it’s why my God-given gifts were placed upon me during a time such as this. However, I did not come into living my passion (just typing that triggers the mean girl, skeptic eye roll inside of me) lightly. It wasn’t some poetic, lovey dovey story about wanting to help people… I’ve gone kicking and screaming and rolling my eyes (read: judging) every.single.step of the way. I was too cool for coaching; I wasn’t down to be a broke entrepreneur; I wanted my next house to be bigger not a quaint little condo. It wasn’t a pretty transition. The amounts of leaky uncomfortable shits and frogs in my throat and numbing activities and crying was excruciating, much like what I imagine a cocoon (read: tomb) feels like.

To keep it real, I always wanted an easy job that paid a lot. I never understood the tech burnout culture of all-nighters- gross. Who wants to do that? I looked forward to and held my nights and weekends as sacred as the days of 500 daytime minutes.

Work was supposed to just give me money that I would then use to live all of my dreams like the State Farm commercials (::singing:: insurance find me money). I didn’t have delusions of passion and purpose on the job… then a couple things started to blow up my dreams…

A-You spend a F*CK-TON amount of time working so you’d better have a more motivating reason than “an easy job that paid a lot so you could enjoy life when you got home” to sustain you 45+ hours per week.

B-Four vacations a year, $400 spa days, and a Mustang convertible don’t come cheap and it takes a while for “the man” to pay you enough to afford all.the.things (and I wasn’t going to settle for any less, can I get an Amen?).

I also wasn’t about to give up free theme park passes and 16 weeks of paid maternal leave- SAY WHAT. Hence, my quest into coaching and consulting started with the thought- I gotta have a side hustle so we can live they want we want to, faster. I just needed to figure out what my hustle was going to be. I went to this women’s empowerment conference sponsored by my company, where a woman on stage said she got paid $25k for her speech that day. Another woman was selling tickets to an event AT.HER.HOUSE for something like $1,200. PERFECT-I have a background in event planning, I could do a thingamabob at MY cute house for way less…Side hustle: secured. So I went in search of the credentials you needed to be one of these rich unicorns- Hello coaching. I researched my tail off, figured out credentialing, programs, found one, enrolled- all within about a week.

The rest WAS NOT history. Coaching school is a complete mind-fuck. I was challenged to write essays on “woo-woo” concepts I didn’t subscribe to like “doing is work, being is effortless” (cue vomit-faced emoji). I just wanted to learn how to coach, I didn’t want to BE coached. Welp, that didn’t happen. You can’t give what you don’t have- I couldn’t offer a service and take people through a process that I hadn’t experienced myself. Coaching is like exercise. If you exercised every day, even if you didn’t do it for your health, you would get into better shape- your muscles would rip, reform and do whatever it is they do when you’re painfully hobbling down stairs or desperately hanging on to the wall to slide yourself down to pee. I had never sat in a chair all day to then feel like my brain and body ran a marathon that night. I had never even considered the phrase emotional exhaustion until that first day of coaching school. And even though I was just “going through the motions” for school, just like exercise, my brain, my life, my soul transformed. I fell in love with coaching and discovered I’d been kind of doing it my entire life.

Before coaching school, I never really considered using ALL of my gifts at my job. I’ve been told, and believed, that I was “too {fill in the blank},” no one could handle all this jelly that’s packed in this body. I wore it as a badge of honor, keeping my humor and my wisdom for only those who “deserved” it. I try to always be polite and kind but there is a distinctive difference between Franny’s “fold” and basically, everyone else. My excuse was that people just weren’t ready, when really I just didn’t want you to tell me how “crazy” I am (bitch-I KNOW) or how much I can talk (duh) but I couldn’t keep looking outside of myself to figure how I was doing. I learned that it’s not my job to fit into this world, I didn’t choose to be here, that was Divine. My job is to embrace it. I GET to be me, a chatty, wacko woman who will get down in the hole you’re sitting in with you and help you out, whether it be through my jokes, my pushy nature or my knack for seeing the light in people even when they can’t see it for themselves. I’ll dream big for you, and I’ll share my secrets so you don’t feel so alone in your dark places. I accepted that my mean girl exterior was masking my huge, sensitive heart and {reluctantly} stepped into this lifelong journey of personal development.

I was so excited and scared to realize that I was made for something, it felt like when you do a seriously deep squat to hoist up that table you really want to move and then 3-2-1 you push with all your might and it doesn’t budge. I couldn’t breathe. Was it supposed to feel like this?? This whole passion stuff is supposed to be a GOOD thing, WTF?! To continue the series of unfortunate answers, yes it is supposed to feel nerve wracking. Another (annoying) lesson I learned from coaching is that good and bad are judgments that I (read: my mother and the invisible rulebook I was having such a hard time deciphering) placed on things. To take that one awful step further that I discovered on my very own (yay, puke) is that a lot of the things that I’ve come to regard as “good for me” don’t feel very good. I’m still not comfortable being uncomfortable but I’ve taken on the challenge.

So the plan became- how do I incorporate coaching into my every day job and do events at my house as a side hustle so I could finally start traveling every quarter. I was now crystal clear on what I wanted to do with my life- coach people to be the best {enter your definition of amazeballs here} they wanted- but I was still holding on to my creature comforts from March 2018 for dear life.  On my search to secure the bag, I found me a purpose and a passion. Something I could do all day that felt like I was living and get paid for it! Yes, please. After I finished coaching school, I hired my very own life and business coach and etn coaching and consulting was born. She’s already grown so much… But on that fateful day, I had no idea what that cute little hairy caterpillar had in store for me.

 

Shameless plug- my job is to help you {re}define the way you lead your life, career and business so you can get where you want faster. Click here to learn more about what I do. 

 

Pssst. If you just read a page out of your diary and you’re ready to {re}define the way you lead your life, career or business, click here to schedule a free 30 minute session and let’s talk about it. 

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