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{Re}defining Franny

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You don’t have to hate your life to change it

Once I discovered coaching was my passion, I spent a lot of time regretting the time I “wasted” in corporate America at a 9 to 5 and the crazy bosses from non-profit and even investing in expensive schools… I could have been an entrepreneur so much sooner and been the female Tony Robbins by now… And yet when I really think back to it, I don’t regret any of the choices I’ve made up until this point. I learned so much from watching a powerhouse company kick ass, just like I learned a lot from how not to be a leader from my time in non-profit. At each step, I was the best version of myself that I could be. I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I needed to learn what I needed to learn.

Having gone through so much change, I’ve realized that you don’t have to resent who you were because you’ve grown and you don’t have to hate who you are to want to be more. You have to appreciate the past, live in the present and be ready for the future. Changing just means that it’s time to move on.

I loved the work that I did at Comcast and I adored my co-workers. I loved our house, I spent hours decorating it, discovering a creativity that I didn’t realize I had. I loved the tree-lined street leading into our neighborhood that I used to run on. I loved my Mustang convertible and how cool I felt driving fast blasting Rihanna. And I gave it all up. I love the work I do now, I miss my friends at work and my convertible. When I met Philippe, I loved living with my sister, drinking wine and watching Grey’s every Sunday. I loved DC and its little big city vibe. Nine years later, I still wish I lived closer to my sister and I love my life with my husband…

The trick is to learn how to honor who you were, who you are and who you are becoming. Change is inevitable, you won’t be the same person in 5 or 10 years from now. Could you imagine if you were the same person you were 10 years ago, today? The amount of alcohol alone would kill me but I could use the energy and metabolism boost. I’m happy that it happened and glad that it’s over. You can appreciate what you have and be excited about what’s to come.

How?

Be present. The best way I know how to do this is gratitude. Count your blessings every day, at least 10 of them. It keeps your eyes peeled for the moments to appreciate and indulge in.

Be honest. If you keep pretending like everything is perfect when you know you want to change, you’ll end up regretting this moment. Give yourself permission to dream big and want more knowing that you appreciate the space you’re in.

Be reflective. Pay attention to your patterns if you find yourself hitting the same walls or not getting where you want. Talk to trusted friends who have your back or someone you admire who knows you, they can help you see what you don’t so you can break those habits. Be willing to embrace the lessons your past has taught you while also letting it go.

There is a dichotomous view on change. Some people (read: I) love all the excitement and novelty it brings while others hate the things that are left behind and all the new things to mess up. But it’s both. It’s both exciting and scary to learn new things. It’s both refreshing and heartbreaking to leave things behind. You can be both ready for your new adventure and nostalgic at the crossroad, it’s just a matter of taking that courageous next step forward.

Click here to take that step together.

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