{Re}defining Franny


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Change doesn’t have to suck

I just moved again… and as far as I can tell, I will be transitioning nonstop for the next 5 years, at least. Change is scary AF and normally I’d be in a constant state of nausea, clenching by butt with each step if I didn’t intentionally do things not to feel that way. This was my second move in a year, it was expensive and I had to do a lot of it myself. I’ve not-so-humbly bragged about my condo with its ocean view and pristine location, saying goodbye made me dance and cry. Here are 10 things I did to keep my cool while walking away from my favorite place to live so far?

1- I mourn the present- For the last few weeks at my condo, every time I looked out of a window at the view I thought about how much I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss the convenience of the gym and my gym buddies. I’m going to miss Tito and Sunny, our concierge… It hurts and I let it because if I don’t, my sadness will rear it’s ugly head in a panic attack the night before I move or procrastination as I scramble and try to steal moments in my last few days.

2- I trash-talk the present- I won’t miss the awkward small talk on the 12 story ride up to my condo, it always makes me uncomfortable smiling at dogs I’m not particularly excited about or sharing details of my life with strangers. Every time I chatted about the weather in the elevator- I thought “man, I won’t miss this,” and I smiled. Nothing is ever all good or all bad. Reminding myself that this place wasn’t perfect makes it a little easier to say goodbye.

3- I overindulge in the things being left behind- I made the most out of the time I had left at the condo. I probably invited you over for dinner or drinks (read: to show off one last time), we barely ate out ourselves, I meditated and journaled on the balcony every day, I soaked up every ray of sunshine that I could.

4- I visualize the future- The scariest part of change is the unknown but did you know that our brain doesn’t know the difference between a memory and a visualization? My next move is drastic (again) so I daydream about what it’s going to look like. I think about the good, the bad and the ugly of what’s to come in this next phase. It helped me have only 1 mild panic attack, instead of the dozen or so something like this would usually trigger.

5- I make plans for the future – Visualizing the future, makes it easier to make plans. I enjoyed picking out my next gym membership and picking places I could meditate. I made a new budget and got excited about what the holidays might look like. I love creating action plans, so I was in heaven here and it got me excited about my next steps.

6- I stayed grounded- I didn’t stop exercising, journaling, talking with friends, praying, doing devotionals, having sex, dating the hubby (read: all of my favorite things) during this transition. I put a lot of things on hold but not these.

7- I cut myself slack- Thank goodness one of the activities that keep me sane is exercise because I’ve also been eating like shit. Cheeseburgers and french fries, pizza, you name it, I’ve had it all in the last 2 weeks. But I know myself, I can only eat like this for so long before I start to feel the effects in my workout and my energy, which is always impetus to grab a salad. I give myself permission to dip into my bad habits instead of freaking out over them.

8- I don’t take on unnecessary challenges- Life doesn’t stop while we’re in transition, we often have 800 other things we could also be focusing on. I’m moving but I’m also a business owner, two of our best friends are getting married soon, there’s necessary preparation like speeches and booking travel versus unnecessary preparation like expensive diets and designing entirely new products. I’m saving my next, big steps until after the move when I can give them my full attention.

9- I celebrate the.whole.way- As I’m entering this new season in my life, my To-Do list is never-ending, with every kitchen utensil I packed, I swear 4 more popped up to replace it like plucking gray hairs. I reward myself with breaks on the balcony, sips of coffee and dance breaks in my new echo-y apartment…and when it was all said and done I buy myself a new bathing suit. Every step is a celebration.

10- I always remember why- I’m writing this overlooking my gorgeous view, with my favorite cumulus clouds in the perfect Carolina blue (Go Tar Heels!) sky with glimpses of the ocean in the distance daydreaming about the plans I have for the next 5, 10 years and I barely notice the view. The struggles of today and even its luxuries pale in comparison to the dreams of my future because I know what I’m doing it all for.

What’s changing in your life right now? How can you apply at least one thing to make sure you’re intentional about the moment you’re in and so you can move forward with zero regrets?

Ready to create a plan? Let’s talk.

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